Dear Forlorn:
It is possible to find love again, I promise! Here’s some practical advice that can help guide her journey.
Here are some highlights:
Learn from former love
As the old saying goes: “It’s better to have loved and learned than to have never loved at all.” The experts agree! Your mother might consider joining a support group for widows. Many a second romance has blossomed out of meeting others who’ve walked in your shoes. It’s not about forgetting your past; it’s about celebrating it with someone who’s also celebrating theirs!
Know thyself
Your mother knows herself better than anyone. The beauty of finding love later in life is that she also knows what she wants and shouldn’t have to compromise to get it. There’s no pressure to stay in a relationship that’s simply not working out, and that’s completely fine!
Set expectations
The biological need to be loved doesn’t wane just because your mother is older. In fact, scientists say it’s just as strong today as it was when she married your father. That said, times have changed, and she has the power to set expectations in any new relationship. For many seniors, the trend is to find companionship rather than something physical or long-term like marriage. Maybe she would prefer to continue living alone, even if her new relationship takes off. She’s free to set expectations up front.
Be inclusive
Beginning a new relationship later in life can bring with it unique challenges, such as introducing that person to family and friends. Experts say that can be especially difficult, but they say it’s important to get to know each other’s “tribe” and to cultivate those relationships, so everyone feels comfortable.
I wish your mother nothing but love and happiness, and I hope this helps!
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